What’s Up With Bottled Water?


– Try and eat healthy. I drink the bottled water, I feel kinda, and it makes you go to the
bathroom every 10 seconds. But, you know, I feel kinda
silly buying the bottled water. Maybe I’m just too mid-Western. Every time I go in a
store, I’m always like, hey how you doing? Yeah, I know I can get
water free from any faucet but I wanna pay for it. (audience laughs) I’m just curious, do you
have any air back there or? (audience laughs) Can I buy your garbage? (scattered laughter) It is water. How did we get to the point where we’re paying for bottled water? That must have been some
weird marketing meeting over in France, you know. Some French guy that’s sitting there, he’s like, how dumb do I
think the Americans are? (audience laughs) I bet you we could sell
those idiots water. (audience laughs) Look, Pierre, the
Americans are pretty dumb but they’re not gonna buy water. Oh yes they are. (audience laughs) Let’s just tell the Americans
the water is from France. (audience laughs) I don’t know if you’re like me, when they first introduced bottled water I thought it was so funny. I was like, bottled water,
they’re selling bottled water (laughs) I guess I’ll try it. (audience laughs) Ah, this is good. This is more watery than water. (audience laughs) Now this has got a water kick to it. (audience laughs) I was looking at a bottle of water. They have nutritional
facts printed on the side. (scattered laughter) You know, I’m no chemist, (scattered laughter) but I have a rough idea what’s in water. (audience laughs) Kinda expect to turn the
bottle, see a recipe. Hm. That’s how you make ice cubes, huh. (audience laughs) Apparently you just freeze this stuff. (audience laughs) Oh, but you need a tray. (audience laughs) (clicks tongue) It’s how they getcha. (scattered laughter) My favorite food is Mexican food. I used to be a waiter in a
Mexican restaurant in Indiana. And that’s where you go for Mexican. (audience laughs) Mexican food’s great, but it’s essentially all
the same ingredients, so you’d always have to, there’s a way that you’d have to deal with these stupid questions. People would be like, what is nachos? Nachos? It’s tortilla with cheese,
meat or vegetables. Oh, well then what is a burrito? Tortilla with cheese, meat or vegetables. (audience laughs) Well then what is a toast tata? (audience laughs) Tortilla with cheese, meat or vegetables. Well then, what is,
look, it’s all the same. (audience laughs) Why don’t you say a Spanish word and I’ll bring you something? (audience laughs) Mexican food is great,
but it is all the same. It’s almost a conspiracy. It’s almost like they had
a meeting 200 years ago in Mexico City and one
guy stood up, he was like, hey look, the reason I got
everyone here is pretty simple. I figure we could rename
this one entree seven times and sell it to the North Americans. (audience laughs) The French said it would be a good idea.

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