Superhero Lawsuit | Rudy Mancuso, Anwar Jibawi & Jimmy Tatro

Superhero Lawsuit | Rudy Mancuso, Anwar Jibawi & Jimmy Tatro


*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* (SMASH) Oh, *BLEEP* *opens drawer* *throws in* *closes drawer* *places it down* (Morning Music) (Morning Music) *zap* (Morning Music) *another zap* (Morning Music) *zap* (Morning Music) *zap* (Morning Music)Appliyng lipgloss (Morning Music) (Morning Music) (Morning Music) *doing weird stuff* (Morning Music) *push – ups* 2, 3, *zap* 4, 5, 6, 87,(showing off) 88, 89 90 Quick warmup Mumbling *Doorbell rings* I’ll get it *sets down cup* How many times have we been dating long *sits down* (Morning music concludes) It’s so cold in here.Yeah.Its a big couch, its a really big couch *opens door* Superman? Yeah, Thats me. Thank you, Have a good day *closes door* Can you not just sit right there, okay? Okay fine, Im sorry Thank you. Was that so hard? Huh? I cannot hear you from all the way here. What *Talking over each other* What’s up, man? We’re getting sued. *bleep* (Guitar music plays) (Guitar music stops) You guys are getting sued, but I mean like really *bleep* sued We know.We- we have we haven’t been doing any wrong. DC is suing you man, you stole all this *bleep* We didn’t expect- We’re real superheroes. We have real superpowers. Yeah watch this *zap* *another zap* See? See? Check this out check this out *zap* ‘kay, that was my favorite book but impressive Watch this. *breaks through roof* There’s my roof How ’bout some of these. Back off! Step away from the girl! *flips water bottle and fails to land* *tries again and still fails* *tries a third time and doesn’t fail* Luckily you guys came to the right place, you know? I represent the the thegreatest superheroes of our generation you. See that picture? That’s me in spider-man right out of a web the cops by accident got him up All all charges dropped. Look at this Who do you think was there when Wolverine cut off his fan’s hand just by trying to shake it I was there Look at this. What nobody could find a visible girl. Who do you think found her? Cool so uh… Can you help us out or these guys a really powerful, man? I mean you gonna have to change up your look getting new costumes Relax relax relax Got the window man you see this billboard out there it’s the Justice League, I have millions of dollars, man That’s a that’s a movie. They’re fakes we’re the real deal. We’re the ones that help people and risk our lives. What do you think Ben Affleck’s the real the real Batman? I mean that’s riduculous. Come on I mean Ben Affleck Ben Affleck is… you what Ben Affleck’s what. That’s not that’s not we’ll talk about later Well you could be an attorney. Like me and not know whatever the *bleep* is going on I mean you don’t know you know what this stuff means I mean I’m trying to figure it out. You know it’s *bleep* hard What do we paint what I can’t tell if you bad lawyer are good? Wait a minute. You’re just saying that cuz I’m darker no Nothing nothing to do okay well my best my best friend what? I’ve known him for longer come on He wears all black my best friend wears all black. That’s a good point right right? We love we love black fingers. What do you mean black fingers? Okay guys let’s wrap this up You need new names you need new costumes. It’s real simple Sucks yeah, no look at it like bad thing. It’s a really good thing is a chance to start over a fresh start You know I mean a new beginning with new activities any kind of point We can we can kind of new identity where we get costumes from another party city. Party city? guys we’re superheroes. We’re superheroes. We need real costumes not the money for that the only one person who can make real superhero costumes My mom Hope you like some chicken some salad too much. No, it’s not this best I was expecting actually. I’m sorry good see get away from me I yes Vegans when you know I’m just not fond of eating meat fish dairy, it’s it’s good for your skin Don’t worry know what I mean. He basically eats grass. He’s a little *bleep* don’t curse please. He can’t stop talking about it. The reason why we’re here Listen for a second. Please the real reason why we’re here is cuz uh.. we’re getting sued. Soup? You want some soup I can make Sued sued mom not soup sued sued Don’t laugh guys. Don’t laugh. If you know those letters those letters you get into the season this this letter Is this? Shut up letters letters we’re in some trouble. trouble what is the problem? They’re trying to say every stop, okay, we need new customers. Oh, it’s not a problem follow me really I still want my chicken now What do you guys think Guys So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking don’t think I’m gonna do something fun and festive for the holidays. What do you think? Yes, I’m thinking we have a tradition and maybe have our first, annual secret santa That guy We don’t We will miss wonderful wake up. Hey wake up. There’s one rule hey, can you wake up these two hear me out? you look good an idiot I put all our names in this box, and we’re gonna each pick one out. Okay, I go first Why are we friends with him oh yeah, Oh Take this come on just pick out a name. Yes, yes, and whoever’s name I get mm-hmm have to get them a present. Yes, don’t Go mix. It don’t we get hurt okay four do I read it out loud now No, don’t okay, so now we got to buy this person a gift. Yes for this game cost money just Damn he’s a lot Unfriending. unfriending I’m unfriending I’m from Facebook tonight. You still have a Facebook? Holidays guys Merry Christmas Happy Hanukkah, oh It’s culturally insensitive. Okay guys. I think it’s time for Secret Santa Yep, I hope you didn’t forget your gifts. Okay. Guys. Don’t forget your gifts. Did you of course not? We got the gift? I’m gonna first. No I didn’t forget. I didn’t forget my gift. Okay. Um just kind of uh, I just gotta run Okay, the bathroom make it quick. Hurry up bro. Anybody else really drunk I’m a little- no my metabolism is a little fast, so I can’t get drunk so I’m going I got you Wow yeah, so I think you have my favorite yeah, thank you, thank you so much Wow I guess I’ll go next okay I got you a quick boy. I saw you at the mall the other day You’re looking at the different stores, and I saw your eyes when you saw this particular thing mm-hmm those slippers You wanted how cute they’re so cute how cute oh my gosh back up Hey. I knew you like That’s very thoughtful of you. You got it. Thank you so much. You got it. Thank you five happy ah Yeah, they look great. They look good. Yeah, click them. That’s fantastic Stop being sarcastic Who’s next I got you miss wonderful? I went for more of a necessity than mine, okay, all right, yeah That I’m a charger phone charger yeah to charge your phone with the Thought that counts yeah, that’s cool. Thank you. Thank you You’re last, but not least or least maybe that guy Look behind you Stand up and look out the window What’s going on what’s his SUV doing out here? What no? Merry Christmas you got me a car what you got me that car. That’s what friends are for oh, my No way, thank you for once, thank you, you know what come on applause. Thank you. Don’t be like if you Say anything was kinda. You know stupid Man I really I really gotta pee yeah, yeah, okay, hurry up, I’ll take some shots all right cool. It’s just fun you know That was really nice of you believe you got in the car. That’s nice of you I mean, I don’t have any super powers. You know I feel bad I feel bad for the guy I got him the car cuz I felt really bad for the guy. Yeah, it’s nice its nice of you Like it’s embarrassing cuz we always what was flying yeah, I think he’s not even a real superhero sometimes But now he has a dope car Because I can I can feel like it’s part of the gang. You don’t feel like us. You know keep it down keep it down Hey, what’s up, buddy? ‘Sup excited? What’re you guys talking about Or just you know holiday Christmas holidays I’m gonna I’m gonna head downstairs do some music stuff, okay? Okay, ready, you want to chill with us. No bat guy Think he heard us? Yo Hey, yo ‘Sup can we talk to you for a second real quick come on yeah, let’s talk come come to the couch Listen man Yeah, I heard all the stuff you guys said about me not being a real superhero. It came out wrong That’s not what we meant. What we? Sounded like you meant it. No. No you could have like any other room, and you were saying it without knowing that I was doing it You don’t have any superpowers, but that doesn’t mean that you’re you’re you know other qualities, right yes Like you were all black. We can’t work. We can’t rock black. No on can rock black. No rock black. Yeah It’s a hard color to wear. You gave me you give us money all the time. I am rich You’re rich. You have good taste in music. Did you guys hear what I was just playing that was it was Beautiful, I think that’s straight-up my stuff ah know what that time We’re trying to screw in the light bulb and we kept breaking it because I’m super strong Yeah, who’s able to screw it in that guy’s house Why I didn’t tell you guys this, but I actually screwed I actually screwed although all the rest of the men. I sweep them all out just cuz I was like No we couldn’t do that look you may not have superpowers, but you’re our superhero, okay? That was beautiful here. That’s all that matters. No we mean that she means that we mean it. Let’s have a great year, huh? Bring it in bring it in group. Hug. That’s what I’m talking about I love you guys You guys want to bake some cookies, No

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