Honest Family Holiday When You’re An Adult

Honest Family Holiday When You’re An Adult

Happy Holidays, girls. It’s so nice that you could
finally take three days out of your busy lives to come
and visit the two people who cared for your every need for 18 years. – Aw, we’re so happy to have you guys cooking and cleaning for us again. – Look, more presents! (laughter) I’m gonna need everybody to show me constantly how much fun you’re having, or I’ll be completely devastated. – This gift is from
both of us, even though I picked it out and paid for it. – Wow.
I’m genuinely very excited to get this tie, even though I’m retired and will never be able to use it. – Kelly and I definitely
failed on your present, but somehow you’re still
happy, so that’s great. – Yes, because even though you raised us, we literally have no idea who you are and what your interests are. – Aw, I’m very closed off. – It’s sad hugging you
and seeing how frail your body is becoming. – Time for our annual
unhealthy holiday breakfast! – Oh, yum, my body can’t handle
junk food like this anymore. – Same, I’m gonna crash
so hard in an hour. – Now, now, girls,
remember, and if your mother doesn’t think you enjoyed
every moment of this day, then I’ll be the only
one left to console her when she cries later. (laughter) – Now might be a good
time to take our yearly family photo for the holiday card. – That’s right. We need to brag to people we barely know about how happy we are. (camera clicks)
(doorbell rings) – I’ll get it. I wish I hadn’t. – Oh holy crap, we thought this only happened in movies. (applause) – I hated that. I went to high school with some of them, and hoped to never have to see them again. (laughs) – I’m going to need all of you to tell me how much fun you’re having, or I’ll die. – We’re sorry we only
gave you a few gifts, so here’s a bunch of cash in an envelope. – Hell yes. This is what I was actually hoping for. – This makes me feel so guilty. I’m a lawyer, and I make way
more money than all of you. (laughter) – Oh, it’s too bad the whole
thing only lasted 15 minutes. That’s all we have planned
for the entire day. – Oh, I have an idea. Let’s spend the entire rest of the day doing the exact same
traditions we’ve been doing since I was six. – Sounds boring. – You’re so obsessed with the past. – Oh, I wish I were a child again. I can’t stop aging, make it stop! (laughter) – Oh boy, a movie from the early 90’s! I’m going to try and
ignore my dad’s laughter at all of the outdated, offensive jokes. (laughter)
(phone ringing) – I’ll get it, since
nobody else is going to! Girls, it’s your least favorite and only living grandparent on the phone. – Hi grandma, we have
nothing to say to you. – (Grandma) You can’t understand me! – Cool, well here’s a weak excuse for why we have to get off
of the phone already. – (Grandma) Okay, you can’t
understand me! I love you! – Let’s get back to our traditions. – I’m going to participate
for half an hour, and then I’m going to spend the rest
of the time on my phone. – Same here. (laughter)

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Husband’s weekend morning routine (two nice bois)

Husband’s weekend morning routine (two nice bois)

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100 Replies to “Honest Family Holiday When You’re An Adult”

  1. I was okay for most of it but dang " It's sad hugging you and seeing how frail your body is becoming" hurt big time. WAY WAY too close to home. That's all the way out in "I thought I was the only one who got sad about these kinds of things" territory.

  2. And then, when your grandma is died and you don't have any more grandparents and when you will move from your parents and never have the opportunity to meet them every morning again, when all of this will happen, you will miss your grandma, your parents' hug, your childhood and you will understand how stupid was to waste your time with anxiety and phone and these kind of things.

  3. what about the stepmother making it passively aggressively clear that she hates while everyones oblivious

  4. 'Even though you raised us we have no idea who you are or what your interests are'
    Too true

  5. I think the only part of this I found relatable was the bit about watching old movies and trying to ignore my dad’s laughter at outdated jokes lol the whole ‘closed off, don’t know who you are anymore’ parts are really sad and I’m glad my family puts in the effort to stay connected even though half of my siblings live halfway across the country.

  6. I'm actually really glad that 90% of this doesn't apply to my family. The only accurate thing is being obsessed with the past and doing the same traditions, loving your parents cooking and cleaning for you again, and not knowing what to get your dad for Christmas.

  7. This is why I'm glad me and my parents are so close we always party on holidays me and my dad usually day drink and tell awesome stories about when he was younger

  8. And this is why I'm happy I'm in a Hispanic family, where we get smashed, have soup, get smashed again, and eat tamales all while singing.

  9. Thankfully this isn’t true for any of it so far in my life. My family members always think it’s funny how long my hugs are but I do it because I want to be able to appreciate the moments I have with them in this short life and make sure they feel loved.
    This also reminded me I need to talk to my grandparents more. I know it can get lonely in old age.

  10. All I remember is my divorced parents arguing with me over who gets christmas morning and who gets the afternoon dinner. Btw the double presents is a sham

  11. How about those relatives who hate everyone and whom everybody hates but only get invited and only come because “they’re family”! And the bratty little cousins/nieces/nephews/grandkids that break everything and throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want and get jealous when someone gets something they want and they whine and cry about how it’s not fair that so-and-so got this and they didn’t! And then there’s the drunk uncle/brother-in-law/cousin who stumbles in already smashed out of his mind, gets even drunker, and winds up breaking a few bones that aren’t his own and smashing a few precious heirlooms that meant the world to you, and causing about 150,000 dollars in damage when they smash their beat-up old pickup into your brand new SUV?
    Then of course there’s always the rich snobby bitchy aunt/sister-in-law/cousin who won’t stop bragging about their accomplishments and their money and their recent rich activities and their pricy outfits and 7 figure jobs and how many trips around the world they’re planning on THIS year but despite despite their vast wealth they always manage to give the cheapest, crappiest, most TASTLESS shit on the planet as gifts? And then of course there’s always those two sides of the family who absolutely HATE each other and the inevitable brawl that breaks out and weapons pulled that winds up with the police being called, 22 people arrested and hauled off to jail, 12 people being sent to the hospital with varying degrees of injuries from minor to near death, and at least two of those people are police officers, not to mention about 200,000 dollars worth of property damage when one of those drunken motherf$&@kers drives his truck right through the garage! Hope you have a great family party everyone!

  12. Is this actually how someone experience Christmas with their parents? How sad. I must be in a freaky family where everything is Disney.

  13. American Christmas. How lovely.
    My Christmas is a little different though. It's the one time a year when I think about my parents and wonder if they died already.

  14. do one but with 12 year olds
    only wakes up for presents and food
    plays some video games and with toys

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