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50 Replies to “BRAND NEW SERIES: Dr. Ramani’s Holiday Survival Guide”

  1. The Good News: I literally only have 1 narcissistic family member I have to deal with during the holidays.

    The Bad News: I literally only have 1 family member – period – and I'm currently living with them…

  2. These holidays I can only remember the narcissists now gone.

    Here's a lovely poem.

    Nobody Dares

    Mom stepped outside for a moment.

    Maybe it was to water plants or pick up the paper.

    One of us kids shut the door-

    Can’t remember which one.

    I was the oldest, 10.

    Turns out it locked.

    She rings the doorbell-

    Fast as we can we get it.

    “I don’t know how you kids ever learned to be so cruel-

    Lock your mother out of the house-

    Embarrass her in front of the whole neighborhood.”

    “Mommy mommy please, it was an accident-

    I’m sorry.”

    “Yeah right, doors don’t shut by accident.”

    Nobody dares mess up in this house…

    Where there are no accidents…

    And we have been taught

    To cry over spilt milk.

    John H. Bidwell

  3. No matter how I try to split my time evenly between families, nothing makes him happy. He is never happy and never willing to compromise. It is always my fault. So I spend less and less time every year with my family. He is convinced I put that side of my family before him. Yet he never goes with me to see them. Swears they hate him so he hates them back…with a vengeance. It's awful and stressful and I have no clue how to fix it. We fight year after year, month after month. Pulled away from family, and isolated. Ugh, your videos are helping me so much. Thank you for sharing them!

  4. @DoctorRamani, thank you so much for all over your work! You're so clear and relatable.
    Can you please do a video on = 
    – how to deal with persistent invalidation? (I realize the easy answer may be to leave, but if one can't leave).
    – what a parent can do with a narc "coparent" who puts one of the children in the role of "golden child"?
    Thank you!!!!!!

  5. I come from a cocaine enthusiast family(me too) , that said , I wasted my hole life trying to intervene in the financial raping of my mother till the day she died , all I accomplished was a 4 against 1, life of misery , as far as family life was concerned , I wish my mother was a narcissist , instead of those 4 bastards . happy holidays ?

  6. The season for reason.. lol Because otherwise you have the emo stressed out turkeys who think it's entitlement time to be ugly. So being reasonable would be the tempo, mood or goal towards getting along and making good memories.

  7. You are doing the work of God Dr Ramani, Thank You ❤🙌. Boy do I need this.
    It's Narcissistic Abuse Season 🎵🎶🤦‍♀️
    Every year now, especially since having kids…. Or maybe it's just so much more hurtful, disheartening, and disappointing because I put so much as a Mother into this time.
    This year it started early with Halloween. Long story but, I ended up missing out completely on seeing my little ones Trick or Treat 💔. After several weeks of costume preparation by just me, of course.
    His family members are in town and the Gaslighting behind closed doors has already begun. I am of course dreading tomorrow so much I feel sick.
    Anyways, I thank you from my heart for doing this guide. Thank you!

  8. Yeah but toxic people are EVERYWHERE and they keep breeding that’s the sickening part!! There’s 500,000 homeless people in Los Angeles! They’re probably SOCIOPATH’s!!!

  9. Lifesaving video. I’ve been married to a woman who 24/7 exhibits these exact traits. Over the years I’ve gotten into self-doubt with practically constant verbal suppression, often disguised as “help”. I knew something wasn’t right but wasn’t certain what was going on. Looking forward to watching rest of your videos.

  10. Just don't take things personally.They are not mentally/emotionally/physically etc healthy. I feel sorry for them. Don't get triggered. I have avoided see the N..but then miss the other relatives. I could not make it work with them…was major upsets. I would almost wish I didn't know about N and then I may treat them in a way they can hide and not be revealed and it is a secret then.

  11. This doctor is amazing! She’s real and even describes things in an entertaining manner.

    Also, her comment sections are so lovely and supportive 🙂
    No trolling or assholes, just people sharing their stories and other people wishing them strength and courage.

  12. I have tried to go no contact, yet my dad texts me at 9:55 pm night the night before Thanksgiving "Did you get the dishwasher and cloths washer and dryer sorted?" I havent heard from him in a month.

  13. This channel should have at least a hundred million subscribers; you helped so much… and you rescued so many good people. <3 <3 <3

  14. It says 8 parts, but there is only that one ?????? 💔 where do I find the others? Survival guide on holiday narcissist ???????????????

  15. I think your vids on narcism are very misleading. No human being is one dimensional. We all, including yourself, otherwise you wouldn't have a Youtube Channel, have some level of narcism. You are giving people excuses to be victims and blame failed relationships on their own inability to grow on their on and rely on someone else. I have been in a relationship, where someone was 'a narcissist' , I was young, but I am not a victim, it took a while, but I moved on. I'm thankful for what I went through because it taught me what I do not want in a partner, but I don't think the ex is this devil, like you make people with a clear mental health disorder seem. I think, you sound very biased and for a Dr, I think that's very irresponsible. We all have some level of it, if we didn't we would be Jesus, or new born babies. With the rise of SM, it will only get worse…again…you are on Youtube proving my point

  16. After I got rid of the narcissists in my life, I ended up with no family for the holidays, only a few friends. I tried hard to make things right but I've now moved on, although I do wish things had been different.

  17. Verbal abuse, invalidation, gaslighting, shaming, insults and intimidation ALWAYS happens whenever there’s a get together with my family and relatives. It’s why I avoided my last family reunion.

  18. Thank you for this gift to help me through a difficult holiday season. Last Christmas a family member verbally abused me (taunting, yelling, belittling) at the end of an otherwise perfect family get together. My husband politely helped wrap up the evening to put it to an end. I never said a word while it was happening and haven't since. I cannot bring myself to organize another holiday or get together, signing up for such insanity. My college age daughters were appalled and it was a humiliating experience for me. My boundaries are now set to protect myself and my family.

  19. Dr. Ramani, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the following observation: I suspect that there is a dynamic later in adult life wherein a scapegoat will partner with a golden child. I have seen this play out as a pattern in my own life. This golden child can also be an adult narcissist themselves, perpetuating the cycle of abuse for the scapegoat.

  20. I abandoned all holiday traditions except actually being with loved ones. They are confused but I'm much happier.

    No presents, no preparation, no purchasing, nothing except maybe bringing a bag of chips. For me, the special time is to see those I want to see … or not. I do exactly what I want to do.

    Prior to these changes…the holidays were a masked charade and very unpleasant.

  21. Dr. Ramani, Will you address how calculated the Narc is regarding manipulating adult children from spending holiday time with victim parent? Thank you.

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